It has been a few days since I have had the time and energy to get online. We have been struggling with getting my Mother in Law settled in a nursing home. Sometimes it feels like loosing myself in chickens and soap and cooking and knitting is pure escapism, that all of those things are 1st world luxuries and I am just hiding from the stressors of the “real world” now that I don’t have a 9-5 job. I am very lucky, and I know it. Yes things would be easier if I went back to work, but they would be more difficult in some ways as well.
Another part of me sees what I am doing now AS real life, caring for our food, creating our home, the things we wear and clean with. As a feminist who came of age in the 70’s it is a struggle for me to accept that this is ok, that being fulfilled by this is not selling out, then there is the economics of the situation and that is a whole other story.
I know it is a debate going on right now, the redefining of what it means to be a feminist, a reclaiming of the word homemaker, a revaluing of home and the work it takes to create and maintain it. I value what I do, as does Steve, but is it practical in the long run, and unfortunately that does need to be the bottom line.
Today is the first truly lovely day, almost 50 degrees and sunshine and yet the stress of the family situation has me in a bit of a funk. I know it will pass, especially if I go spend some time with my girls, but seeing a life summed up and put into storage has me thinking about how I have spent mine.